Not Enough
by FallenAngel218
Summary: Tony and Ziva try to make sense of a flawed relationship. One-shot written for the NFA "Farewell to Arms" Challenge.


_**Summary:**__ Tony and Ziva try to make sense of a flawed relationship._

_**Characters/Pairings:**__ Tony/Ziva (major Tiva in this fic!)_

_**Notes:**__ Possible spoiler for 11:1, and for season 10 finale. Written for the "Farewell to Arms"  
Challenge. The song that inspired this fic is "Love of a Woman" performed by Travis Tritt. _

"_The true, pure, undying love of a woman  
makes a man a fool to think, he can make it alone."  
~Travis Tritt, "Love of a Woman"~_

Morning sunlight shone through the curtains in Ziva's bedroom. A single beam cascaded over the bed, illuminating Tony's face as he slept next to her. He held her snugly in his arms. She rested her head on his chest and listened to him breathe. The warmth of his skin made her feel comfortable, and safe in his arms.

She could feel his breathing change as he stirred. His arms loosed around her. She tilted her head up to see his face as he opened his eyes. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

"Good morning," he said, running a hand down her bare back. He could feel her shiver at the sensation. She didn't respond to him right away, and it worried him. "Are you all right?" he asked gently.

"Should we be doing this?" Ziva asked softly. Tony propped himself up with his elbow and lay facing her.

"What do you mean?"

"You and me…"

Tony sat up, letting the sheet fall to his waist, and stared into her eyes. She was hiding something from him.

"What's wrong?" he said, concern in his voice.

Ziva turned over to face the window.

"I am tired, Tony."

"It's morning."

"You kept me up all night."

Tony grinned.

"Yeah, but was fun."

She turned over to face him.

"Is that all this relationship is to you, Tony? Believe it or not, I want more from this than sex!"  
She started to get out of bed. He put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"I love you, Ziva. More than anything."

"Sometimes love just isn't enough, Tony."

She got out of bed and went into the bathroom. Tony got up and went in after her. She was turning on the shower.

"Ziva listen, you mean everything to me. I'd give up sex forever if it meant I got to be with you."

"You could _never_ give up sex," she said with a scoff.

"Well… no, I guess not. But that's not the point."

"You are doing a lousy job of making your point, Tony."

"I can't live without you, Ziva." Tony pulled her into his arms and crashed his lips into hers. He looked into her eyes when they finally parted. "I want to be that something permanent you've been looking for. Marry me, Ziva."

Ziva backed up a few paces.

"Tony… I don't know what to say…"

"Say you'll be my wife," he said, taking her hands in his.

"I need to think about it."

Tony's face fell. That usually meant no.

"I see."

Tony turned and left the bathroom, a sullen look on his face. Ziva watched him go, and stepped into the lukewarm shower, sure that she'd just broken his heart.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

They'd gone about their day like nothing had happened. Tony, having taken Gibbs' place in his absence, called them out to the scene of a dead sailor. They maintained a professional relationship right through the evening hours. Tim was the first to leave the office, eager to escape the tension that had been going on between them all day. Tony met Ziva at her desk as she packed her things.

"Can I take you to dinner?" Tony asked.

"No thank you. I am tired."

"I'll cook you dinner. Go home and relax. I'll be over soon." He kissed her on the forehead and scurried off to the elevator. He had shopping to do. Ziva sighed as she watched him go. He was trying too hard to sway her.

When she arrived home an hour later, Ziva was assailed by a wonderful smell. She set her keys on the coffee table and went into the kitchen. Tony was washing dishes, wearing Ziva's frilly pink apron.

"What's for dinner?" she said with a smile. He looked absolutely adorable.

"Lasagna," he replied. My mother had a really good recipe for it."

"It smells wonderful."

Tony crossed the kitchen and took her into his arms.

"I've been waiting all day to do this," he said, and leaned down and kissed her. The oven beeped, and  
Tony let her go and donned the oven mitts that matched her apron. She giggled as she watched him take it out of the oven and set it on a potholder on the stove. They helped themselves and went to the table.

Dinner was silent. They stole glances at one another as they ate. After a while, Tony decided it was getting awkward, and broke the silence.

"Ziva… about this morning—"

"I'm leaving, Tony."

Tony was shocked.

"You're _what?_"

"I am moving to New York City. After what happened with Elan, I decided that I need a fresh start."

"What do you call you and me?" Tony asked angrily.

"You are my heart, Tony. I love you very much. I just— I need to get out of Washington."

"I'll go with you."

Ziva got up and went into the living room.

"No. I must do this myself. My flight leaves tomorrow morning."

"Why do you insist on being alone?" Tony asked angrily, following her into the living room. He sat next to her on the couch. "You talked about wanting something permanent in your life. I want to be that something, Ziva. I can't let you go again." A tear escaped his eye. "I won't. I love you, Ziva."

"I am not sure you and I could ever be permanent, Tony. We love each other, but I feel as if love is all there is between us, and that can't be enough."

"Don't do this, Ziva. Please…"

Ziva leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"I'm sorry."

Tony wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. He wished he could keep her that way forever.

"Stay with me tonight, Tony," she whispered into his ear.

He responded by picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom. The lasagna sat on the table, forgotten.

**NCISNCISNCIS**

Tony awoke late the next morning. Rain pelted Ziva's bedroom window. He turned over, pulling the sheet up over his shoulder for warmth. He found an empty bed. A note on light pink paper sat on the nightstand, on her side of the bed. He reached over and picked it up. It was in Hebrew. He smiled and set it down on the nightstand. She'd be back, someday.

**END**


End file.
